Have you ever been in a negotiation and someone at the table is checking their phone? Or maybe they’re reading their email on their computer? Has that person been you? I admit that this happens to me from time to time, and I am working to get better at it. When either you or the other person in the negotiation is disengaged, the deal goes south and not in a good way (like heading south to a nice beach). 

An essential ingredient to negotiating successful deals is getting—and staying—in a flow state. When you stop multitasking and focus on every aspect of what’s going on in the negotiation, you will make great deals. If you want to enter a flow state, you must prepare and be personable and present.

As a talent agent, mediator, media attorney, and professor at the University of Southern California Gould School of Law, I teach people how to get into a flow state when negotiating. I also teach an &Then master class on dealmaking in collaboration with MadeCraft Studios and Cornerstone on Demand.

Prepare.

Before any negotiation, you must prepare. Preparation helps you stay calm and focused. When I say prepared, I don’t mean knowing the gist. I mean doing your homework and knowing all the important details. 

For me, it doesn’t matter whether I’m doing a mediation between two disgruntled parties or negotiating a six-figure deal between a keynote speaker and a Fortune 500 company. I make sure I know all the details. I know who the people are, what they post on social media, what deals they’ve done, and I’ve read the contract and documents thoroughly. This way, I’m relaxed and ready for anything. It also allows me to connect with people.

Be personable.

Being in the flow is not just about deal points, contract riders, and terms of sale. It’s about connecting with the people involved. This is why I like to show up early to any negotiation. It helps me build rapport with the parties involved before we even start talking about the deal. Winning people over when there is nothing at stake means everything when there is. 

When I enter a room, I’m smiling and upbeat. First, I chat with the people there, and I usually mention something that I read in the news that morning. Maybe I’ll notice a coffee mug with someone’s dog or their kid on it. I did my homework, so I have relatable talking points to connect and engage with the folks in the room.

I look for something that I can connect to on a personal level, versus starting with “Hey, good morning, here’s the 19-page document that we need to discuss. Hope you used the restroom first.”

Be present.

Once the deal has started, the key is to be present for the process. Even though you spent days preparing for the deal with all your great ideas, you can’t just blurt them out.

You need to listen, talk less, and ask questions. That way, you can find the differences or common points among the parties involved so you can bring the negotiation to a satisfactory close for everyone involved.

Being present isn’t easy. Sometimes, during a deal, I’m fixated on what I want to say. In my mind, I think, “Oh, I’ve got to tell them this thing,” and I’m not following everything that’s going on. When that happens, I miss things—cues, signals, and opportunities.

To avoid this, I write little notes on a yellow pad so my “great” idea doesn’t distract me. I can stay focused on what people are saying at the table. 

When I practice these three things—being prepared, personable, and present, I ease into the flow of the deal. I can also focus on the details that make successful deals happen. I’ve close more deals because of this practice. How do you get into the flow of your deals?

This article was originally published by Inc. May 3, 2025.