As a youngster who grew up poor, on the streets, and in scarcity, I used to think winning a deal meant “winner take all.” The goal was to end up with the most money and walk away with the best terms. If I didn’t crush someone and make them a loser, then I wasn’t a winner.
Crushing people in deals made me happy—for a while. Until the people I beat in deals wouldn’t work with me again. That’s the zero-sum-game trap. And wow, did I fall into it.
It took me years of burning people until I realized the best deals are the ones in which all parties feel like they’re walking away with something—or what I like to think of as multi-win deals.
Now, as a talent agent, dealmaker, and media attorney, I’ve been teaching people how to negotiate multi-win deals. I even teach an & Then master class on dealmaking in collaboration with MadeCraft Studios and Cornerstone on Demand.
Why zero-sum doesn’t work
Dealmakers are often competitive people. And in competition, winning means having more on the scoreboard than the other team. Sometimes dealmakers go too far, though, and they not only want to win, they want to have a shutout and trounce the other side.
In deals, though, you can’t be too pushy or greedy if you plan to do business in the long term. My grandfather always explained it to me this way: “Kenny, pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered.” What my grandfather meant was that as a dealmaker, you can ask for just enough to be satisfied and win, maybe even a little extra on top.
Don’t take too much, though. No one likes a hog. It doesn’t matter if you’re negotiating for a second-hand desk, a salary raise, or a multimillion-dollar contract, if you push for too much, one of two things will happen. One, you’ll kill the deal. Or two, you’ll burn people—and they won’t want to deal with you again. Even worse, they might tell others to stay away from you.
So, how do you create a multi-win deal?
Always leave a little on the table.
If you want to create a multi-win deal, then leave a little on the table. Don’t squeeze every dollar or concession you can from a negotiation.
Famed American industrialist J. Paul Getty summed it up best: “My father said, ‘You must never try to make all the money that’s in the deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have the reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.’”
When everyone signs off on a deal, it’s a win-win. However, the best deals are a multi-win. That’s when you include all the stakeholders.
Include all stakeholders.
The win-win isn’t the best deal you can make. That would be the multi-win, which happens when all stakeholders benefit. Let me explain.
Think of Starbucks. It’s great at offering multi-win deals for its consumers, from the Starbucks rewards program to discounts on coffee when you bring in your own mug. The discount on coffee for bringing in your mug is a great example of a multi-win. First, as a consumer, you win cheaper coffee (cutting down on your expenses). Second, Starbucks wins by using fewer cups (cutting down on their costs). Third, the environment wins with fewer cups manufactured and filling landfills.
If Starbucks had charged you the same amount for your coffee whether you used its cups or your own mug, there wouldn’t be a multi-win. But when you leave a little on the table and think of all stakeholders, you can get a multi-win. The multi-win isn’t possible in every deal, but let it be your compass.
So, how do you make sure everyone wins?
This article was originally published by Inc. Feb 1, 2025.